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Dear who ever is reading this( and those who are not),

I realize how selfish I have been, and how selfish I still am. I'm always caught up in my own life. The ideal life. What career will I have? Where will I live? Will I be married? Do I want to be? Do I want kids? What will I name my pets, and what types of animals will I keep? Where will I have traveled to? Well, this list goes on and regrettably still strikes a chord. 

My worst fear is being alone, so in these scenarios I always make myself some-what of a Mary Sue so everyone will love me. I'm also always the hero. It's the only way I feel good sometimes. I get so caught up in these deranged "stories" that I forget the rest of the world. I'm not a huge people person, but recently I've noticed I don't pay attention to most. Or not as much as I should. I noticed this while looking at some pictures of someone I spent my whole life with, someone I'm related to and thought "I wonder what she's like?"

I'm so sorry. To everyone. I'd really like to get to know you. I know this isn't a cure all for of all my selfish, self-indulgent tendencies but I can try, right? (I'm sorry to admit it but I'm still thinking about myself and how I would answer the following questions....It's going to be a hard transition, but let's try!)

What career have you always wanted? Do you still want that? Where is your dream home? Do you want to get married? What about kids? Do you like animals? What kind? Are you a pet person or a keep-the-house-clean person? Where do you want to travel? What's your favourite colour? What's your favourite thing to do on a warm, sunny day? What about a rainy night? What do you believe in?

How are you today? What has happened in your day? Let me be your (silent) therapist for a while. Go ahead, talk. I'll sit quiet and listen. I bet my life you're pretty damn awesome.

Who ever is reading this, I Love You.


Comments

rainbowrocketxx
Aug. 14th, 2011 04:57 am (UTC)
Haha, wow... I know I'm in this mind set a lot, myself. Mostly thinking about me and my own outlook and blah de blah - I think most people are like that, really? But I also think it's good of you that you know it and you've... More or less made this entry to be like... YEA I can change and etc.

The end bit cheered me up, even though you already know me pretty well~.

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dizzyphantasm
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